Bathroom Break
I was on a first date with a cute girl that was going really well, when suddenly I was overcome with a violent case of Montezuma’s revenge.
I calmly excused myself and walked to the bathroom as fast as I could without it being obvious that I was sprinting.
I managed not to destroy any of my clothes, but it took me about 10 minutes to clean the bathroom up and douse myself with the air freshener spray they had in the bathroom.
When I came back, she was gone and the waiter was standing next to the table. He had asked my date where I went, and she started crying and stormed out. She never returned my calls or texts after that.