Eew
I decided to meet up for coffee with a girl that I had been talking to online. We talked for 45 minutes or so – normal first date topics like family, travel, etc. She then asks, “where did you do your undergrad?”
Now, I have a pretty good job, but that question sets the bar pretty high for a guy who didn’t go to college. She is not only assuming that I went to college but is also assuming that I am taking part in some type of post-graduate school.
When I said that I went to technical school and then straight into the workforce she looked at me as if she’d never heard of such a thing. Apparently, I didn’t pass all of her minimum requirements to be considered human.
After a brief pause, she broke off her shocked stare, placed her hand on her forehead in a fashion that covered her eyes, inhaled briefly and followed it by a valley-girl, “eew!” She took her Blackberry out of her purse and whispered to herself as she typed, “he … didn’t … even … go … to … college …”
I then saw the left thumb hold the shift key as she deliberately pressed the exclamation point key once… ! Twice… !! Three times… !!! In reality, each one of those keystrokes was a simple tapping of a small piece of plastic, but, in my head, it sounded like a metal bank vault door was repeatedly slamming shut.
She pressed a few more buttons on the phone, presumably sending this text message to her total BFF. She put the phone away, looked at me, and after taking a deep breath said, “well that is okay. Not everybody is capable of going to college.”
She put on a fake smile followed by an awkward laugh and just stared at me awkwardly. I couldn’t believe that she’d react so rudely to something and then try to act as if it didn’t happen. Perhaps she still believed that, like a child playing hide and seek, if you covered your eyes you would disappear.
After staring at each other awkwardly for a few seconds, I finally broke the silence by saying, “Wow, okay. So, yea… I, uhm guess it is about time to get out of here?” I stood up and took my trash to the trash can and she followed me out the door.
I turned and began walking down the street and she followed closely and said, “how far away is your car?”
This girl was expecting a ride! So, I stopped and turned around and said, “oh, I am about a block this way. Where did you park?”
She replied, “Oh, I took the bus here. I don’t have a drivers license.” Now, I am normally not a rude person. Even in that situation, I was going to just walk away and let that be that, but I just couldn’t pass this opportunity up.
I looked at her right in the eyes and said, “eew!” Pulled out my cellphone and typed, “she … doesn’t … even … have … a … license … ! … !! … !!!”
I then put my phone away, looked up at her, smiled and said, “That’s okay! Not everybody is capable of driving a car! Lucky for you, the bus stop is right over there. I hope you don’t have to wait too long!”
I wish I took a picture of the look on her face as I walked away. It was priceless.