Sweet Seventeen
I have been with my partner for 11 years, since his daughter was six. In that time, he has never missed a visitation (1/3 custody) or a child support payment, and we have done our best as non-custodial and step-parents. Her mother (his ex) has always been cruel and demanding to my partner. No matter what he gives or does, she treats him like garbage, makes threats, and demands more.
It has been like this since their divorce 10 years ago. Still, we had a good relationship with his daughter (now 17) until about nine months ago, when the car we GAVE her needed repairs, and he told her the car needed to be (at least partially) her responsibility and he wouldn’t just cut a check every time it needed work. Note that we gave her the car for free, got repairs done before giving it to her, still pay registration and insurance for the car, etc.
She was extremely rude and disrespectful in their text exchange, saying things like “This ‘free’ car you gave me sure is costing me a lot of money” and “You don’t want your child to be safe just because it costs money?” before she stopped responding entirely and her mother took over the conversation, threatening to abandon the car in a tow zone (it’s still registered to my husband and I) if he did not pay for the repairs.
Since that disagreement, his daughter has not spoken to us at all. Please note my husband DID end up paying for those car repairs, after his ex made the towing threats. Calls and texts, no response, birthday and holiday gifts (from us and my family), nothing, send her cash through an app and she won’t even say thanks. Recently, my husband sent a heartfelt message, saying he knows she is hurt and that he will always love her and will be there if she ever wants to talk.
No response. This is causing my husband so much pain. He is terribly depressed and grieving the loss of his daughter, even though she isn’t gone, she’s just a little witch. She’s always gotten everything she wanted—iPhones, computers, trips. She’s better traveled than most adults, has taken many vacations with us, her mom, or school trips, which are often funded by my husband.
And now that she was told “no” one time, she is “punishing” my husband and me by cutting off all contact. Her mom supports this decision, of course. But karma was coming for her. Enter: the pandemic. Though we now have no contact with the daughter, I know her school is closed and all the fun Senior stuff I know she was anticipating is gone.
No spring break trip, senior prom, graduation, senior trip, etc. I hope her mom and her are cooped up in their house driving each other crazy. Her mom has always made tons of money (under the table, so never able to be included in child support calculations) with a party planning side gig, and obviously, all those jobs are canceled too, so now they can actually be as “poor” as they always claimed they were.
I hope they are both miserable right now because they have made him miserable, and I love him and there’s nothing I can do to make it better for him. She’s not a child anymore, she’s almost an adult, and she is making these choices to hurt others. She deserves to feel some pain, too.