He Doesn’t Understand Children
My father-in-law is offended by his nine-year-old granddaughter. He has been the bane of my existence our entire marriage, which is over 20 years old at this point. He’s one of the most self-absorbed, entitled, and selfish people I have ever met.
He’s the man who said he didn’t need a seeing-eye-dog because, “I have my wife.” Yeah… One day, I went to drop off my youngest son at my in-laws’ place, which is a once-a-week thing.
My youngest daughter, who is nine years old, said on the way over there, “I can’t wait to see Grandma and ask for a popsicle!” We drive up and I send the kids in. I’ve been teaching all day and my feet are DONE IN, so I stay in the car and wave goodbye to everyone.
A few minutes go by, and my mother-in-law comes out. We chat for a minute, then my daughter gets back in the car and we head out. The next day, my husband gets this text from his father: “I want you to know that I am not happy with your daughter.
When she came over this afternoon to help her brother bring his stuff in, the first thing she did before even acknowledging your mother or saying hello to her or giving her a hug was asking if she had a popsicle.”
It went on: “She ran by me without even acknowledging me or saying hello to me or hugging me and she just ran and got her popsicle. When she ran by me I said, ‘Well, hello to you, too,’ and when she came back then she finally hugged me.
I want you to know I am not happy with her. I think she can be, and a lot of times is, a rude person. She was rude to me and your mother today. I’m not mad at you. I just wanted you to know how your daughter acted today.”
Seriously. SERIOUSLY? So much no. Was she rude? Yes. Was she “I’m a 24-year-old entitled adult who does not have to speak to anyone to get what I want” kind of rude? Heck no. She was a “nine-year-old kid who is oblivious” kind of rude. Did she need to be called out on it? Sure.
But did it deserve this type of response? Nope. Not even a little bit. We sent back a response saying that we would deal with the manners issue, but did not want our little girl being labeled as “rude” when she was simply being childish.
You know, because she’s a child?? My husband said, “She feels very comfortable at your house and so doesn’t feel the need to be extremely formal when she comes over there. Though if you would prefer that, we can teach them to be when they come over there.”
His response? “I don’t recall telling you that she is a rude person.” WHAT? Those were your EXACT WORDS. They are literally RIGHT THERE IN WRITING, in the very conversation we are still having!! He did later say that he got his wife to read the message back for him, and realized that he did say that.
He apologized, which I really appreciated, but the fact is that this is what he really thinks. He said, “She’s more interested in getting something for herself than she is in being nice and polite to people like me and your mother.”
This is getting long, so I’ll wrap up with a couple more thoughts. What’s with the “your daughter” and “your mother” stuff? Why can’t he just say their names? I don’t understand what that’s supposed to be communicating.
And finally, the “I’m not mad at you, I just wanted you to know…” thing. Do you think I give a freaking flying flip whether you’re mad at me or not? I’m mad at YOU for the way you’ve spoken about my daughter!!
I mean, how does a person get to that age without realizing that this is not normal behavior? I don’t think I’m overreacting by being annoyed about this whole experience. Story credit: Reddit / thepsychomama