Relationship Red Flags That Should Not Be Ignored

The American Dream

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So my wife and I have been together for eight years. We have a little girl who is five now and a baby boy who is two years old. I love both of them more than anything and I finally feel like I have everything. A beautiful wife, two healthy kids, a great career, and a big house.

The token “American Dream,” minus the dog, since I’m allergic. When we talked about kids before, my wife always said she wanted two. I only wanted one, since it would be easier and we’d have more money for vacations and stuff, but my wife maintained it’s important for a child to have a sibling.

I grew up with four and my wife with none, so I guess I understand where she’s coming from. After our son and getting through the baby years and sleepless nights for the second time, I didn’t want to ever go through that again. Both kids were very fussy and colicky.

But when he was a year old, my wife began casually mentioning that she wanted a third. I would laugh it off, but finally, she sat me down and gave me a chilling ultimatum. She said we have to have a third. I said no, we agreed on two, but she said she wanted four, so three was actually the compromise.

I refused and said I wanted one, and we have two. She then got angry and called me selfish for taking away her dream of wanting a big family. A couple days later, she apologized and we were intimate.

In fact, over the past little while, I noticed her drive increased exponentially, but so did mine and I was happy to engage with her. After all, she was on birth control, I had a condom, and it was all good. Thinking back on it, I probably should have figured something was up. 

Still, I was barely handling two little kids and work on top of housework and yard work and everything. I came home from work one day while the kids were at their grandparents. My wife had a huge smile on her face and she sat me down and showed me a positive pregnancy test, literally dancing in joy.

My first thought was, “oh God.” My wife noticed a less-than-happy expression on my face and started screaming at me. She berated me for not being supportive and this was a “miracle from God” and I should be grateful.

I said I was sorry and hugged her and said I was super excited for the baby. My wife was delighted, and later that night she was calling all family and friends to happily tell them the news.

When she was talking about the nursery and how we’ll convert my office into a room, I started to get a little suspicious. Everything was so well thought-out and it seemed like she’d been planning this for a while. When she was asleep, I took the condoms out of the cupboard and ran them underwater.

Holes. I nabbed her phone and saw she’d set a password. That was odd. Nevertheless, my wife has a terrible memory, so I tried her birthday and it opened. I saw texts that made me go white as a sheet. They were of her best friend of my wife complaining how I wouldn’t come around to a baby.

Her best friend suggested to “arrange an accident” with a winky face. My wife agreed and said she was going to come off of birth control. It went on for a little while, ending with my wife saying that yes, we were going to have a third.

So I woke her up immediately and asked her if this had really been a “miracle”? She got that deer-in-headlights look and burst into tears. She wailed and then she got angry.

Through tears, she screamed how I had no right to go through her phone and it’s her choice whether or not she wants to take birth control; the side-effects are bad and she was sick. She also brought up that if I really didn’t want a third kid, I should have had a vasectomy. She told me to go sleep on the couch.

I laughed out loud and said no, I’m sleeping here, you’re leaving. So while wailing, she packed a bag and left to her parents. When she called the next day, I told her I just need some time to myself. She said that’s fine, but I need to come around for our child.

I told her I wasn’t sure if it’d be “our child” and she cried more. It’s been two weeks since then. We’re back in the same house, and she constantly keeps on stopping me and trying to get me excited for our kid and planning the nursery and names and how happy our kids will be to get a younger sibling.

I’ve been ignoring her entirely. I don’t know if I should leave her over this. I don’t trust her anymore. She entirely betrayed me. I’m angry. But I have another child on the way. Story credit: Reddit / (throwrawifebabytrap)

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