The Greasy Goblin
I tried dating again after a bad breakup. This guy messaged me on OKCupid. We talked and hit it off. He seemed normal and asked me out, so we met up. The first thing I noticed was his hair. In his pictures, it was long, but in person, it was long, stringy, and greasy.
He REALLY needed a haircut or a lesson on how to take care of long hair. The second thing was how high-pitched his voice was. It was as if he hit puberty, and then in the middle of his voice deepening, it stopped and never finished the job. We got to the restaurant, and he decided to lug his guitar with him.
The next thing I noticed was that he was quite a bit shorter than me. Everyone has their preferences, but I prefer taller men, which isn’t so hard because I’m only 5’5” tall. He was shorter than that.
We clicked, so I thought I could look beyond some of the physical turn-offs. We ate, and he took me to a park. We talked, and I jokingly said, “Oh yeah, I know EVERYTHING about WWII”, which was a hobby of mine.
Instead of taking the joke, he berated me into a corner about how HE knew everything about WWII. I told him to back off, but he HAD to prove he knew more than me when I wasn’t being serious to begin with.
After an awkward cheap movie, a couple of days later, I messaged him to friendzone him. Instead, he friend-zoned me, letting me know he was pretty misogynistic.
He told me he didn’t believe in being just friends with a girl because he didn’t want to fall in love with them and let them break his heart. Therefore, he couldn’t talk to me anymore. I laughed with relief. Story credit: Reddit