My Mother’s Secret
My mom had an affair 18 years ago, and I am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. Both my older brother and sister went to the same college.
My brother graduated two years ago, my sister is set to graduate in two years. Dad paid all their expenses, including rent, food, their cars, pocket money, you name it. My brother has a job now, his own place, lives together with his fiancée, and has his life together.
My sister already has a good-paying job, and my dad still pays for almost everything for her. I got accepted to the same college, which was always the plan, and was looking forward to talking with my parents about the next steps.
I was going to ask them to help me the same way they did for my siblings. Instead, I was met with a story about my mom’s cheating, how I am the result of her cheating, and how my dad is not willing to support me any more moving forward.
Dad told me that mom had 18 years to let me know and prepare me for the future, but obviously she never did. I was floored—what am I going to do? He said it was never his place to say anything since I am not his son, and he didn’t want to interfere with mom’s parenting.
Apparently, my grandparents know I am not dad’s biological son, but they haven’t bothered to tell me anything, either. My siblings had no idea, and they are as surprised as I am because there was never a hint of anything being off.
I might be naive, but I always thought I had a great relationship with my dad. We go to see sports together, we go fishing together, he tutored me when I had difficulties with math (dad is an engineer), and he taught me to drive. I never got a hint he stores resentment towards me.
I mean, he gave me my name, and has explained what my name means, and he was very proud of it. It’s a story he tells from time to time. He likes to talk about stuff like that about me.
My mom, meanwhile, has never said a word about anything, and apparently she was supposed to have “the talk” with me, but she never did. I feel abandoned and unprepared for what lies ahead. I am not even sure I will be able to go to college anymore, as I always assumed my parents would pay for it.
I never had a job, and I am not sure what job I can even get to support me through college. I have no idea how to apply for loans. All my mom has done is cry and apologize throughout this. But nothing of substance; she has no idea how to help me. I don’t even know if I am welcome at home anymore.
It’s all up in the air, and I feel shame leaving my room. It’s a nightmare. Still, if they ask me to move out, I don’t know where to go. I don’t have any savings. I am angry at my mom, and I am confused about where I stand with my dad.
There’s a man out there who is my father who never wanted to have anything to do with me. I feel rejected and I have no idea what to do to fix this situation. I have no idea how to process all this. Story credit: Reddit / (throwawaynocollege)