A Controlling Mother
My mother was a really awful person. I have four other siblings. One older sister, three way younger, with three different dads.
Before I was born (I’m a boy by the way), my oldest sister was taken away from my mother when she was a few months old because she tried to stab the father of my sister WHILE HE WAS HOLDING HER.
She lost custody and the dude left her. My older sister goes to live with her father’s family in a different city. CUE LIL OL ME COMING INTO THIS WORLD. My dad went to jail 2-3 years after I was born for a while, and I rarely saw him. He’s an alcoholic if that matters.
My mom was a single mother but she made it work and she worked hard. One of the bigger problems was that she took out all her aggression and hatred of my father on me, as well as work stress, etc.
She dealt with abuse growing up, which I’m sure definitely affected her relationships and how she treated me as well. Anyways…Cue me being mistreated from the age of 4-5 to about 17. Every day was horrible. She was extremely strict and her perspective was warped.
She was also pretty big in stature and had a lot of strength. Examples of her being awful: I got beaten up badly once because HER room was dirty.
The dishes weren’t washed and I got beaten as soon as I got home, even if there weren’t dishes when I left to go to school. If I walked too loud, I’d get my butt beat. She broke my nose for looking at her the wrong way on my 10th birthday when she brought me a cake I was allergic to.
It had peanuts’ she knows I’m slightly allergic but feigned ignorance. It was more or less every day or every other day. She used her fists/elbows/extension cords/hangers/chairs/canes/bats/etc. Whatever she could find, I was getting beaten with.
I couldn’t ever escape to my room for long because she would always call me every few minutes to get her things or to yell at me. She never drank or anything. Whenever she was upset and I happened to be in front of her, she’d kick me down the stairs to make me hurry up.
She’s put a knife to my neck before and had to be forcibly stopped by her boyfriend at the time. Burned my Christmas presents from other people (she didn’t get me anything that year) and just other really horrific things.
The only thing I will say, she tried really hard to make up for it with video games and electronics and etc. It didn’t make a difference to me though, it never helped. She controlled most aspects of my life. I got by with little petty revenges. Peeing in the Lipton iced tea she drank.
Rubbing her forks and spoons between my butt cheeks before I served her dinner. Ignoring her screams for help when she had kidney stones. But by the time I got to high school I turned to drinking. I resented her, and the negative atmosphere affected who I was as a person.
I started to be cold and uncaring. Calculated. She started kicking me out every few months, telling me to find somewhere else to live by age 15. She sent me away to a different country for a year and tried to keep my passport but I made it back to the US with the help of the embassy and my stepfather.
I came back senior year with no credits for the prior grade, which ended with me getting a GED. I spent most of the time I could with my best friend and started working bad jobs. I was terrible at saving, as I had accumulated loads of bad habits while growing up, so it didn’t make much difference.
My mother eventually told me that if I went to college, I would ALWAYS have a place to live until I finished. Cue my first two semesters at a two-year college. I maintained a 3.7ish GPA. My teachers loved me, and it was my escape.
Towards the end of my second semester during finals, I came home late one night around 10 pm and my mother yanks the door open, screaming in my face and asking when I’ll move out. I’m slightly tipsy and decide to completely ignore her and walk to my room.
If I opened my mouth, that day would be the day I blew up and cursed her out. I’ve rarely ever raised my voice at her because it never ended well. Now at this point, I’m 19 and I’ve been doing school full time with no savings.
I’m also fairly fit and could easily take my mom at this point (never laid a hand on her or any woman, though). I get to my room and she rips my door open and starts yelling. I say nothing and stare at her.
She walks away and called the authorities on me, saying she thought I’d harm her and my younger siblings. I don’t know where the heck she got that idea from as she’s the one who’s nearly ruined me many times. I packed everything into a duffle bag and left five minutes afterwards.
I failed all of my finals because I couldn’t make it to my school. Things kind of spiralled, and the next 2-3 years were me on and off homeless. I survived the best I could in a big city with no college degree and made a lot of bad choices due to my bad habits.
Eventually, I found a profitable hobby that gave me meaning, and through that I started to work my way up. Got my own apartment, had a full time job, and did my hobby on the side.
I hadn’t kept up contact with my mother at all, but my younger sister who was old enough to have a phone found me on social media so I saw photos and such. She didn’t have it anywhere near as bad but she did get beaten occasionally. My mother reached out via email, all smiles and asking how I’ve been.
Now guys, I’ve always been envious of the relationship most people have with their moms, so I gave her a chance and gave her a call. We talked for a few minutes and everything was civil. It seemed like things would go okay. I was so very, very wrong.
She asked me what I’ve been up to the last few years and I told her honestly that I was homeless for a while and struggled a lot after what she did to me. Nonetheless, I worked my way out of it. SHE LITERALLY LAUGHS. She laughed for a few seconds in a very condescending kind of chuckle.
Then she said, “I never did a thing to you so you don’t know what you’re talking about! It’s your own fault you were homeless. So how about yo—” but by that point I hung up. I was speechless and fuming. I’VE SPENT TOO LONG LETTING YOU DESTROY MY SANITY. NOW IS THE TIME.
See, there were a few things my mother didn’t know. One, I knew for a fact that the current well-paying job she had was gotten on lies, as she never got her college degree and lied about it on her resume.
Two, I had access to all of her email accounts and cloud storage accounts since I was the one that set them up when I was younger, and she never changes her passwords.
Lastly, she DEFINITELY wasn’t aware that from 13 years old and onto the last time she hit me, I took photos of ALL my bruises/marks/wounds/bloody noses, saving them to my computer.
ON TOP OF THAT, my little sister had been sending me photos via social media of the bruises she got from my mom. The first thing I did was compile ALL of those photos/videos into one folder.
I then reached out to CPS in my city and explained that my siblings were being mistreated, how I was mistreated in the past, and that I had mountains of proof.
Since I’ve called the authorities on my mother before, there was immediately a home visit. They arrived almost a day later with the authorities and coincidentally my mother was literally in the process of beating my younger sister when they were knocking.
Cue an emergency removal of all my siblings from the house and my mother getting detained, although she was released hours later. I sent CPS all the evidence and there’s a legit case against my mother now.
The next day, I emailed and then called up her job to inform them that she had lied about having a very necessary college degree as well current events in her life, which sparked a background check. She was fired days later. Say adios to 75L and a blacklist in the only industry you know how to work.
I then spitefully deleted every cloud account and email address I ever made for her, which was all of them. I’m sure this will make keeping up with a lot bills nearly impossible.
I then anonymously reported her to the IRS because of the tax fraud she committed for years by claiming people’s children that weren’t hers with A LOT of detailed information, since I lived with her while she did it. So now, my mother lost all her kids and her job.
I’m meeting with a caseworker from CPS next week to talk more about what happens moving forward but I do know they’re NOT going back. I don’t know how she’s going to pay her mortgage now and survive.
I’m sure she’s going to get a call from the IRS soon, who’ll be looking for a few thousand dollars she owes them. She also has to go back to court in a few months. I’m not exactly sure what she was charged with yet.
Side Note: She isn’t aware that I’m the cause of any of this. I plan on keeping tabs on her and waiting until it seems like she’s close to her end before I tell her it was all me…and that I peed in her Lipton tea. Sorry not sorry, mom.