Hold Your Nose
I was walking down the street with a cig in hand when I see a woman eating on the sidewalk patio and eyeballing me. I was still 30 feet away, and she was waving her hand in front of her nose and pointing for me to cross the street. Instead, I walked past her…and managed to cut a nice audible toot right next to her as I kept walking. I was proud.
Story credit: Reddit / bennyha12