Cut the Nonsense!
My friends got married at a medium-sized wedding by a lake. Right after the ceremony, we walk over to the gazebo where the reception will be, and the bride’s sister-in-law loses her mind.
She starts lobbing her high heels at her husband, screeching about what an awful day it is, gashes her husband’s eyebrow open.
People are scrambling to get him napkins because his face is bleeding and trying to get him into a car to drive him the hospital for stitches.
Meanwhile, his wife decides this is the time to up the ante. She says, “I can’t take this anymore!” and throws herself off of the dock in a dramatic swan dive. The poor bride is horrified at this point, obviously.
The problem is, the lake at that point was only four feet deep, and marshy, so instead of a suicide, she just sort of… bobs?
Along in the water because everyone’s more concerned with her husband’s eye/face. Sister-in-law’s father just turns towards the lake, tells her to get her ass out of there and cut the nonsense.
They pile into two cars and drove off. It was surreal. Story credit: Reddit / GroupGuide