My Crafty Cat
So. My cat didn’t come home for dinner. Very strange. He’s usually the one (we have two) demanding I get to opening the tins. So I look in the usual spots, is he stuck in a closet or the garage? Nothing. I eat dinner, thinking he’ll be around meowing any minute. Well, no sign of Frank (the cat).
He’s mostly an indoor lazy guy who wanders a bit around outside. Anyway, my neighbor previously (a month ago or so) had yelled at my wife about the cat “pooping” in his garden. Okay that’s not cool, he has a litter box, we have a garden. I get that’s a bit annoying.
So anyway I go over to his place and knock on his door. Said I understand my cat has been bothering you. I gave him my business card, said if he ever bugs you again please call or text me.
I said I’ll deal with whatever mess or whatever. Meanwhile, I’ll try to improve the situation. I bought some dirt, catnip, made an outdoorsy litter area for my guy, showed it to him a few times. We made an effort to keep him inside more.
But I’ll be honest, eight years as an indoor/outdoor cat and he gets antsy and crafty about getting outside sometimes. Anyhow, I’m wandering around the roads near my place hoping not to find a tire print over my cat. No sign. He doesn’t come home so now it’s worry time.
I kind of know in the back of my mind what happened. I sense that the neighbor did something. So I’m wandering around outside and I approach his driveway, calling for Frank—and I hear him.
He’s meowing for me. Okay I follow the sounds and yep, he’s trapped in buddy’s garage. So I tried the door, figured he could have wandered in and got stuck. Darn, he’s gotten stuck in mine before. Door is locked. Knocked on buddy’s door. Said I hear my cat stuck in your garage.
I couldn’t believe his response. He says, verbatim, “Yep! Bye” and goes to close the door. I knock again, bit louder. Now this guy is a boomer, probably 65 years old. And he says, “What?” and I said, “Man, you got my cat in there. Just let him out thanks”.
And he says “No”. At this point I’m at the front door and as he’s closing it I put my foot in there. I’m like bud, let him out. He says no again. I said should I break this window to get him out?
He pulls out his phone and starts recording and says “You’re threatening me!” and I’m like “Bro you took my cat let him out” and he says no again. Goes to close the door and I knocked hard as it closed and it popped open. Guess it didn’t latch. It hit a breaking point.
He tells his wife to call 9-1-1. And she does. He slams the door with his shoulder and locks it. I hear them literally on emergency calling the authorities. I’m like, ok, he took my cat. He can’t keep him, that’s not a thing.
So I dialed the non-emergency line and told my end—the neighbor threatened my cat before, now he has him captive. And she tells me a squad car will be there soon talk to him.
Like five seconds later, the first car pulls up. I give him my ID, tell him my cat is in there. He says how do I know. I said I can hear him. Well, does he have a cat? No I’m pretty sure he hates cats. I show him a picture and say he’s in the garage here. Two more cars pull up, four more officers.
I’m like wow, this is really something. First officer talking to buddy, watching the video. But then two more! Five total, one guy is like in SWAT gear ready to take somebody down. They talk to him. Cat is meowing like crazy beside us in the garage.
The SWAT guy is like “did you take his cat?” the other guy says “he says he did, says that’s this guy’s (me) cat in there…” “He poops on my property! Right there”! He points to a little dirt patch behind a bush.
I’m like, I’m sorry man I didn’t tell my cat to come over here and find a good litter box. I’m working on it. It really devolved at this point. SWAT guy is like, we drove 90 mph up here because… Cat poop? Neighbor says “He was threatening me!”
At that point I said I just asked how I should go about getting my cat out of the garage. SWAT guy tells buddy he’s called a break-and-enter to 9-1-1 because I was “sneaking around his garage” and the first cop is like “this guy took his cat”. SWAT guy is like “why did you call a break-and-enter?”
Neighbor says “I didn’t” and the officer is like “should we go down to the shop and pull the tape”? Neighbor starts pulling a “do you know who I am? Don’t talk down to me”. The guy is like it’s a serious offense to call emergency for a non-emergency. Like down to the station kind of deal.
First officer is like “let the cat out now” and he finally does. Frank runs out and home. The officer is like this is stupidly unreasonable that you called 9-1-1 over cat poop. Guy finally apologizes. Shakes my hand and says sorry to me. I knew just what to do.
I say “do you still have my number? I’ll literally come fix whatever he messes up while I try to get him trained up to stop using your garden there”. The officer says to me to do what I can to keep the cat indoors. I’m like “I do try, but my niece and five-year-old live with us and sometimes he’s crafty”.
Anyway—now I’m not sure what is going to happen to my cat if he gets out again. Story credit: Reddit / (BelgianAles)