Believe Victims
I’m the student, but a professor helped me escape domestic violence. I was living with a boyfriend who had a terrible temper. Screaming bloody murder, throwing things, smashing things. He only hit me directly a few times, but I would “accidentally” get hit by things he threw. I was hiding in my room almost 24/7, sneaking out at 2 am and hiding in my car, and having panic attacks.
I was a shell of person. That professor was the first person I told. I was so scared that no one would believe me or would say I was overreacting, or worse, my boyfriend would find out I said something. I was truly scared he might kill me if I got him in trouble. I was falling behind on a paper and I didn’t want this professor to think I wasn’t trying.
I barely said anything, just that my living situation was chaotic or something like that. His response was amazing. He asked me to explain and he listened to me without pushing too hard or telling me what to do. He asked me what I needed to feel safe. He also helped me get time to get away from that situation and get back on track with school.
Most importantly of all, he believed me. He didn’t minimize what was happening or blame me or freak out. He just listened. He told me that my wellbeing was more important than school, and that I deserved to feel safe, especially in my home. I told a friend and eventually my parents because of how he responded.
Sadly, after I opened up about it, I did find a lot of people victim-blame and even more just don’t want to know. I can’t imagine where I would be if he was one of them. If he didn’t bother to ask. I’m safe and I’m still in school because of him. I wish I had the courage to say that to him in person, but I started crying even writing this. In so many ways, he saved my life.