The Absurdity of These Real Life Arguments Is Unbelievable

It All Began With Cheetos

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I had a massive year-plus-long argument with my old roommate over Cheetos. I bought a bag of hot Cheetos because I hadn’t had them since elementary school and had a taste for them. So I put the unopened bag into my designated cabinet and went on my way. A few days later I decided that I’m going to eat my Cheetos. I open the cabinet and notice the bag is opened and empty.

Someone has eaten my Cheetos and stuck the empty bag back in the cabinet. So I confront my roommate calmly and say, “Hey man, could you please not eat my food?” Roommate blows up and starts screaming that he needs it and he’s starving. He’s unemployed at the time and I guess he ran out of food stamps for the month. I pointed out that he was welcome to share my cereal or fruit but eating all of my snacks was inappropriate.

Lots of screaming and door slamming ensues. Well, that was just the beginning of my nightmare. The rest of the time I lived there he would take my wet clothes out of the washing machine and throw them on the floor, purposely slam stuff while I’m sleeping, take my food out of the fridge and leave it on the counter to go bad, etc. And we would regularly continue these screaming matches over this $2 bag of Cheetos.

I don’t even live there anymore and he still tells my boyfriend I’m controlling and he should break up with me. I also forgot to change my address for my bank after I moved and my new debit card got sent there and he keeps denying that he has it. I never even ended up buying another bag of Cheetos since then. A bag of Cheetos has caused the biggest ongoing argument I have ever been in.

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