The Queen of Karens
It was a dispute in which I helped a low-income man seek full custody of his children. His ex was representing herself, and refused to communicate with me in any way. Apparently, she thought she knew the law, and said she didn’t have to talk to me without a lawyer.
No amount of explaining that I was a lawyer, not an officer, got me anywhere. Come hearing day, she hadn’t submitted anything to the court, and decided that she should get whatever she wanted simply by telling the judge to do it.
She was, after all, the “mother” and more entitled to the child, benefits, and child support that went along with the child. Despite what she was saying, she spoke sweetly and was very petite so I knew people would automatically want to side with her.
The judge explained that she hadn’t submitted any pleadings, and that she wouldn’t prevail unless she asked for a continuance, submitted pleadings, and tried her case. That’s when she transformed into a monster.
I must have romanticized the memory, because I swear she was flailing her arms around so fast that I couldn’t keep track. Her entire body was twitching, arms flailing, hands flopping, and head back screaming. She demanded to speak to the judge’s boss immediately.
She repeatedly made offensive comments about the judge. A non-stop river of psychotic-entitled garbage spewed from her mouth. She wasn’t doing the insanely high-pitched-unintelligible scream, either. She was doing a full-on drill sergeant bellow.
The yell was loud, clear, forceful, and disconcertingly deep. I’ve seen some stuff, but this left me opened-mouthed and staring. My client, however, was familiar with this brand of crazy. He stood up to loudly and politely ask the judge if he could say something.
I felt like a jerk at this moment for not staying on point, but I was completely caught by surprise. In an instant, my client took the case from ridiculous to absurd.
The judge allowed my client to speak, and my client used both arms to gesture to crazy and yelled, “This is the stuff I’m talkin ’bout right here. You see this crazy. Nah. Just nah.” For the second time that hearing, I didn’t remain professional and couldn’t contain my laughter.
I think laughter, or any sound of happiness, must have been a trigger for her, because Crazy then started trying to physically attack my client. My client ran to the witness box and ducked down inside in an attempt to shield himself from the attack.
There should be officers in each domestic courtroom during hearings, but we all know it’ll never happen. Crazy was detained, and screamed the entire time she was dragged away that she was going to talk to the judge’s boss about her being disrespected.
My client was awarded full custody, and the mother wasn’t awarded any parenting time. Story credit: Reddit / yossarianlivess