True Sparta Fan
A friend of mine and I were having a fun argument about classic history. We were talking about Alexander and whether or not the western Mediterranean was ever going to be a possibility. We’re knee-deep in the discussion when our co-worker comes up and starts spouting off that Alexander only conquered as much as he did because of his Spartan army. Then it got really painful, really fast.
Everything we said after that just fueled this man’s love for Sparta and his need to tell us about his romanticized version of the place. Sparta wasn’t a part of the Macedonian army? That doesn’t invalidate his point about Alexander’s conquests, no, it just meant that Sparta was so badass that they couldn’t be conquered.
Sparta’s regular army dwindled by a factor of ten between the Peloponnesian wars and the days of Alexander? They just got ten times as tough, haven’t you seen 300?! The conversation slowly devolved until we were just talking about Sparta. It became him trying to defend his bizarre utopia for nearly the rest of our shift.
He stayed firm through boy love, economic recession, lack of army technology, and religious fervor. Only the fact that Sparta was de facto run by a small group of wealthy women seemed to disturb him. I feel like I was gaining some ground with my buddy, but to this day I think Sparta dude still gets off to 300 as a nightly ritual.