You Can’t Choose Your Family
I dated a guy, Joe, for three months before he left me to go back to his ex, Kim. Right after we broke up, I found out I was pregnant and now I’m at 24 weeks. I let him know and he was ecstatic. Turns out his girlfriend had fertility issues and would likely never be able to get pregnant naturally and he has always wanted to be a father. Getting back together was out of the question for both of us, so he’s still with his girlfriend.
At the initial appointment, we found out I was having twins. According to Joe, when he told Kim she had a mental breakdown about her infertility and wanted to talk to me. I met them at their house and Kim stated that she wanted to be involved in my pregnancy because she would eventually be the children’s stepmother. Then it took an enormous nosedive.
She started telling me that I needed to do a home birth, that I needed to formula feed so that they could have the babies half of the week, that she wanted one boy and one girl, and that she wanted the kid to call her Mama since they would be calling me Mommy. I shut her down and said I would make the best choices for my children and my body, then left.
Kim continued to be overbearing, texting me every day about my eating habits, exercise habits, and complaining about how her job wouldn’t let her take maternity leave. At the virtual genetics counseling appointment, she attended instead of Joe and took over the whole meeting trying to talk about her family history…which wasn’t even relevant.
When it came time for my 20-week scan, they allowed me one guest and Joe suggested I take Kim instead of him, which I refused to do. Joe did end up coming and he found out the gender because I wanted to keep it a surprise for me so we could throw a gender reveal party. I put a pregnancy announcement on my social media and then Kim put up an announcement saying they were expecting twins “the non-traditional way,” and how blessed she was.
I was irritated but I kept my mouth shut. Then came the last straw. Kim threw a gender reveal party and posted it on social media. I wasn’t even invited. She also announced that she’s having a baby shower. I commented on her posts and told her to stop treating me like a surrogate, that the kids weren’t hers, and that Joe didn’t have any claim or custody of the kids until they are born.
I then called Joe and reiterated all of this and stated that I would not be seeing either of them until we went to family court and that my mother would be my birthing partner. He and Kim and some of her friends and family are saying I’m a jerk, and her mother even called and insisted I give her one of my babies like this is The Parent Trap.