Gaming The System
My older sister Jane is married to Bob and they have two kids, a boy and a girl. My niece and nephew are wonderful kids and no trouble at all. They fight as siblings do but nothing big. I love them. Now for about two years, I did live with my sister. It was a miserable time that really affected our relationship. She saw me as free labor, money, and babysitting.
Even when I managed to get a small part-time job, she demanded I hand over nearly half my pay or get out. She took complete advantage of me. I moved out as soon as I could and we have little contact outside of family gatherings. After I moved out, she started complaining how “She has no help with the kids and never gets a break!” I babysit sometimes but I have made it clear, just because I am off work doesn’t mean I want an eight-hour day with my niece and nephew.
Anyway, she then started talking about how she wanted to foster a kid. Not a kid but a teenager. I pressed her for more information on this. Her answer blew my mind. She wants to adopt a teenager so she has a live-in babysitter for her kids. This is her logic: “I want a kid around 16 or 17, you know someone who may have been in the system for a while.”
According to her, they can share a room with my nephew (she only has a three-bedroom house) or sleep in the garage. They can help her with housework, chores, cooking, and help her with her business. (She bakes and sells cookies). Also babysit the kids so she and Bob can go out sometimes or have some alone time. They’ll be so grateful for a home and won’t complain.
She won’t have to pay them at all. And then when they turn 18, she can just sign up for another foster kid! A teenager will be so much easier than a little kid, they will be grateful just to have a roof, food, siblings if they have been separated from their real ones, and clothes. I was horrified! Told her it was a horrible idea! She didn’t listen to me. She went on with it anyway.
About a month ago, a social worker showed up at my apartment to ask me some questions about my sister. She had put me down as a character witness or something like that. I knew exactly what to say. I immediately told the social worker why my sister really wanted to foster a kid and how she treated me when I lived with her. The lady thanked me. My sister called crying saying that she wouldn’t be considered for any adoptions or fosters.
The social worker told her that they felt her home and her weren’t a good fit. She asked if I said anything and I told the truth. She went off on me, hung up, and we haven’t spoken since. She has sent some angry texts. A couple of family members are on her side. They think foster kids are dogs or something and would be so happy just to have a roof and would gladly do all the housework.