There Are Hospitals Everywhere
My old friend was hands down the stupidest man I’ve ever met. He had a heart of gold, though. He once called me while he was in Maryland—we’re from Ohio. What he said was so bizarre, it’s unforgettable.
He asked me to call 9-1-1 for him because he was having a panic attack and was genuinely worried that he was going to have a heart attack. I proceeded to explain that instead of calling me, he should call 9-1-1 for himself or go to the hospital.
He replied: “What? Maryland doesn’t have any hospitals”! He then started arguing with me that Maryland doesn’t have hospitals. He legit thought hospitals only existed in Ohio. It took like five minutes to get him to understand that hospitals are literally EVERYWHERE.
I’m still absolutely dumbfounded by that conversation five years later.