Reliving His Glory Days
I worked at a summer camp. The employees were usually college students, but one time we hired this guy in his early 40s. At the onset, it seemed like no big deal, he was just trying to act like he was 20. Slowly things got weirder. He kept getting in trouble for strange things.
He got caught at least three times working shirtless with the kids. He would be out canoeing and rip off his shirt and life jacket, or he would be lying in the middle of the park with no shirt on. No one was really comfortable with him because he seemed like he was trying to relive his glory days.
Then, we had an overnight training. It started at 9 AM and went to 3 PM the following day. We were about to discover just how bizarre he truly was. It was a camp, so we set up our tents around the site for the overnight portion.
He was his usual self at the start of the day, but throughout the day, he kept sneaking off to his tent for a few minutes at a time. He had set his tent up much further away from everyone else, so he would disappear for 10–20 minute increments. He was acting weirder and weirder as the day went on.
He took off his shirt while the boss was talking and threw it in the fire screaming “WOOOO”!! He started talking about his ex-wife a lot and was yelling at the birds. Things got really uncomfortable when he started talking about the birds and the bees.
Around dinner time, he got up, ran to his car, and peeled out of the parking lot so fast that his tires were screeching. We thought he was gone and were happy, thinking we could move on with our training. About an hour later, we heard his car fly back into the parking lot.
Our manager started shaking her head, saying, “Oh God, he’s back”. I thought it couldn’t get weirder—I was wrong. Soon after, we saw homeboy running at top speed out of the woods and cannonball into the lake. He then got out—in his birthday suit.
He walked over to where we were all sitting and started doing the helicopter. He put his arms around both of my bosses and declared his love for them. At that point, we could all smell him.
He reeked like a distillery. He asked us when we were all taking our clothes off and encouraged us to “get this party started”. Finally, he was escorted out. Someone went to clean up his tent and found he had been smoking out of pop cans and had a bunch of booze bottles.
The worst part was he was scheduled for a shift the next Monday at 11 AM, and he texted us saying he would be late for his shift because he had a meeting with the boss. Needless to say, he didn’t make it to the shift after that.