The Best ‘I Don’t Work Here’ Stories From Real People in the Retail World

10. It Went On For Hours

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So in the ’90s, I rented a large workshop with two friends. I was a woodworker and the other two were metal workers so obviously none of us resembled the previous business, which had installed skylights, in any way.

Cue the customer of the previous business, C. I have condensed this as the verbatim conversation went on for a very long time.

C arrives at my door. She’s a real “Karen” who clearly needs to speak to a manager.

C: “I need repairs done to the skylights you installed.”

Me: “Sorry, that business has moved and I don’t know where they are now.”

C: ” No, I need you to send someone over NOW. The Skylights are leaking.”

Me: “As I said, that business has gone. We are a different company.”

C: “No, RIGHT NOW!”

Repeat the above a half dozen times…

About now I am realizing I am dealing with either a genuine looney or else someone too entitled to listen to plain common sense. I try another tact, caveman speech. Who knows, it might get through to her.

Me: “Skylight business gone. New business come. You talking to new business now. Understand?”

C: “…Uhhh?”

Me: “Nooooo skylight here! Try look in [bleeping] phone book! You screw off now!”

C leaves in a big huff.

It’s all about communication, folks.

Kookabanus

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