8. Customer Service
So, I work at a candy shop. There’s an adult shop in the neighborhood with a similar name to our store, so when I tell people where I work, I always have to add “the one that sells actual candy.” This is a phone call I got today.
Woman: My name is [full name] and I have a complaint about one of your products. Who can I speak to?
Me: I can help you. What is the problem?
W: I bought a… um, a vibrating toy from you and I don’t quite know how to explain it, but-
Me: I’m so sorry to interrupt, but you’ve called the wrong store.
W: -It fell apart while I was using it. I was hoping you could explain to me how to put it together so that it doesn’t do that.
Me: I’m sorry, but you’ve called [candy store]. I think you meant to call [adult shop].
W: You should still be able to help me if you sell the same products.
Me: I’m sorry, but we’re a totally separate company with totally separate products. We sell candy, as in the food. We don’t carry any adult products.
W: I called [store name]. I bought this yesterday and this is the first time it’s been put into use. I’m just wondering if you could help me-
Me: That doesn’t change the fact that you are talking to a person who works at a store that sells candy. Hang up and phone [adult shop].
W: Ugh, if you won’t help me will the one in [different neighborhood] help me?!
Me: …Sure. Good luck!
W: [Hangs up].