28. Peaceful Giant
My husband is a peaceful giant. He is 6 ft 5 and can look quite imposing even though he really is a teddy bear.
So here we are, at the grocery story, with our 6-month-old baby, shopping. The kid is fussy and nothing really calms him except when we carry him in our arms. It is my turn and my husband is going back and forth gathering what we need and bringing the items to our cart when this old woman started yelling at him.
Old Woman: ARE YOU DONE? You’ve been helping her FOREVER and I NEED HELP! NOW!
Husband: (with his smooth everything-is-good kind of tone) I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I do not work here…
OW: NONSENSE! I just saw you help HER shopping. NOW, you help ME! AND YOU DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME!
Husband: But…
OW: STOP! Don’t talk to me unless it is to thank me. Are we clear?
My husband sees me boiling and about to interfere but makes a sign that’s says he is going to deal with it. He then calmly lookS at her with a smile.
OW: GOOD! Now, help me grab the ketchup on this high shelve. WHY in the world you people always put the stuff I need so high is BEYOND me. Now, chop-chop!
My husband grabs the item, but instead of giving it to her, he keeps it just a tiny bit out of her reach. He looks at it and then at me.
Husband: Honey, do we need ketchup?
Me: (catching on) Well, as a matter of fact, yes! We do!
Lady: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU GIVE HER MY STUFF! IT’S MY STUFF! GIVE IT TO ME!!!
Super slowly, my husband gets closer to the lady. He is so imposing that she calms down immediately. With the biggest of smiles and the most polite voice ever, he says to her: “Again, I do not work here… but thank you for reminding me we need ketchup.”
And with that, he puts the item in our cart, grabs the baby, and together, we left. In the background, the lady kept howling some profanities.