The Best ‘I Don’t Work Here’ Stories From Real People in the Retail World

27. Our Driveway Isn’t Company Property

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College. A bunch of guys rent a beat up old house in town next to a daycare. Problem is the parents picking up and dropping off park in our driveway. We argue with the owner of the daycare every day. She doesn’t care.

So one day I begin parking behind the parents who are parked in my driveway. This infuriates the daycare owner. We go back and forth and usually I go out and move my car so the parents can get their car out. One day, though, I’ve just had it. I worked most of the night, had early morning classes, and I have twenty minutes to shave, shower, and get ready for my second job this afternoon.

I get home and sure enough parents are in our driveway…again. So I park behind them and go inside. Get in the shower and when I get out the daycare owner is beating on the door loud enough to shake the wall. I go downstairs wrapped in a towel and open the door. She burst into the middle of the living room and screams at me.

While she is screaming I take the towel off and calmly dry my hair. I am buck naked. She stops screaming long enough to realize she’s standing next to a naked college student, screams something about calling the cops and bolts for the door. It doesn’t open. In her haste to leave she’s locked the door instead of unlocking it. Now she’s stuck with a naked man. I tell her I have to have the key (true) to unlock the door and the key is upstairs on my dresser. I leave her looking like she’s about to have a heart attack.

When I come back to the living room she’s white as a ghost. I unlock the door and say, “It sucks to be stuck and not able to leave, right?”

Fast forward about 20 minutes and when I’m leaving a cop is parked in front of the house. I chat with them through the car window. I explain the situation and they chuckle. “Did you invite her in?” No, I tell them, she barged into my house. “Well it’s not a crime to be naked in your own house. Her problem for violating your privacy.”

I’d love to say this rectified the situation, but it didn’t. We never found a way to stop parents from parking in our driveway.

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