The Best ‘I Don’t Work Here’ Stories From Real People in the Retail World

25. Don’t Be Rude to the Help, Even If They’re Not the Help

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My good friend got married last year and invited me to his wedding. I put on a nice suit on, black tie, shined shoes, all that jazz. I didn’t realize I was the only white guy there until the ceremony ended. At the after party, I also didn’t realize the waiters were dressed exactly like me. White shirt, black tie, shined shoes.

I’m walking around and a nice older lady (who would turn out to be the mother of the bride) approached me as I passed her table. She needed an extra seat for her table.

Her: “Excuse me…can we move this chair over here?”

Me: “Uh…yeah. Go ahead.”

Her: “Do you think that will inconvenience the other table?”

Me: “I mean, that sounds like that’s the other table’s problem.” (Yes, I really said this.)

Her: “…Uh…alright. Are there extra chairs in the back?”

Me: “…probably? I mean, they know there is a wedding going on so I think it’ll be okay.”

Her: “…O-okay.Well, thank you.”

Later, I had to go to that same table to drop off my portion of the wedding purse. And that nice lady was there with her sister.

Me: “Hello again.”

Her: “Oh hi. Great timing. Do you know when we’ll be eating?”

Me: “No, but I can’t wait. Wedding food is the best, isn’t it?”

Her: (somewhat annoyed)”Well, with what we’re paying for this, I’d imagine it would be.”

Me: “And thank you very much for paying for it. Really, I’m so happy to be here.”

Her: “….”

Me: “…Um, so is this where we leave the wedding gifts?”

Her: “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! You don’t work here!”

Me: “I….What?”

Two seconds later, a waiter dressed like me walks by and I understand. We all had a good laugh about it.

Wolvenfire86

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