Always Cut The Deal
I was a jailer and used to pull double duty as a bailiff. One time, a guy swiped a pickup truck and was later captured passed out behind the wheel and parked on a sidewalk surrounded by a ludicrous amount of illicit substances and guns. His defense was jaw-dropping. First off, he elected to represent himself because he wasn’t done being stupid. Then he outdid himself.
“Double Jeopardy, You can’t charge me for theft, possession, or anything because I’ve already been convicted on all of those charges before”. In short, during his jury trial he admitted to doing it but explained with a smug grin that since he had already done time for the same charges from another case before that, he could not be prosecuted for them ever again.
This is not how double jeopardy works, folks. He’s been behind bars for 20 years now. If he’d taken any counsel he could’ve easily cut a deal for five.
Story credit: Reddit / Vict0r117