Monkey See, Monkey Poo
When I was about four or five a few of my cousins were over visiting and we were swimming in the pool. I always really looked up to them because they’re 8-12 years older than me and of course I wanted to emulate them.
So, we’re swimming in the pool when my cousin Jonathan decides to rip a massive fart underwater. Obviously, being the kids we are, this is hilarious and Nathaniel (other cousin) and I try to out-fart Jonathan.
Nathaniel farts a few times and we busted a gut laughing and now it’s my turn to save face and become “one of the guys.” I strain and strain and a few little toots blossom forth but nothing great. The guys are really egging me on now and I start to push harder than ever in an attempt to be cool.
“At last!” I thought, as my sphincter stretches apart for what I’m sure is about to be the most epic fart ever seen by my cousins. It was poop. In the pool. I just remember laughing so hard even though my swimming shorts were housing a log of brown polonium.
My cousins were in absolute hysterics. I got out of the pool, still laughing, and proceeded to tell my mother what happened. She grabbed the garden hose, turned it on full blast, and roared, “If you’re gonna behave like an animal then you’re gonna be cleaned like an animal!”
I was then blasted with 55F water. I’m 22 now and I still haven’t lived this down and I swear that this story is told at least once at every family get-together we’ve ever had since. It’s not so embarrassing now because I was so young, but I still cannot believe that I did it. Story credit: Reddit