Don’t Call Saul
I was in high school a zillion years ago. I liked driving, so when the drama cast or my social group wanted a food run, I’d often offer to do it. One time, a friend, Saul, came with me. Saul was… excitable.
And for some reason, on that trip in my old car with its manual drive, he decided it was great fun to try and pretend to change gears while I was driving, and maybe actually do it! Mmmmmm, no. He thought the game of “keep your hand off my gearshift” was great fun, but he eventually calmed down.
We got to the Hardees drive through, and throughout the entire time I was trying to give them our laundry list of an order, I was also fending off Saul as he hit every knob on the dash, messed with the emergency break… And actually shifted gears. While I was sitting there.
Trying to cram the car into second or third. I should mention my car had an unusual gearshift setup, so normal gear shifting did not work. He was breaking my car, and I was trying to stop him while the girl on the other end of the microphone was trying to get my order.
Finally, we got it, and when the drive through girl said “Thanks, pull forward,” I said “Thank you,” turned to Saul–facing away from the speaker–and said, “Just buzz off!”
Saul started to laugh hysterically, and I didn’t know why. He almost couldn’t breathe for a moment. As we inched forward in line, he finally got out, “I… I used to work here. They hear everything through those speakers, everything, and you were loud! They think you just told them to fuck off!”
I wasn’t sure if I should believe him until I got to the window and was met by the manager, leaning on folded arms, one of our bags of food dangling from his hand, five faces with Hardees caps above them peering around them. All he had to say was, “Is there something you’d like to say to me, miss?”
I apologized profusely and explained what had happened, and that the cashier would’ve probably heard me telling Saul to stop messing with the gearshift during the order, and that I had yelled it at him, for trying to break my car, and not at the poor cashier.
Luckily, Saul was in such hysterics and laughed so hard at that part, and I was so exasperated and frustrated, that the manager believed me. It was still years before I could stand to show my face there again.
And everyone heard about it, Saul never rode with me again, and I’m pretty sure he never got shotgun again. Story credit: Reddit / VAPossum