53. ASHES TO ASHES
I was working full time and he was unemployed at the time. We didn’t exactly live together, but I slept over most nights of the week.
I would do simple things like cook for him when I got home, and I also kept the fridge stocked. One week, I was too busy at work to go over to his house so I didn’t see him until the following Saturday.
We went to the mall, then to the supermarket, and then back to his place. I went on the balcony to smoke a cigarette and noticed in the ashtray were a bunch of pink Sobranie butts.
I don’t smoke Sobranie, and he doesn’t smoke at all. After I finished, I asked him if someone had visited recently. He was quick to deny having any friends over.
But then I mentioned the cigarette butts and his demeanor changed completely. He eventually confessed to having another woman over. I felt shattered, I couldn’t say a word.
He said we were equally to blame because I hadn’t seen him all week and he was lonely. I cringe remembering how I forgave him and came to my senses months later.
The entire time, no matter what I did, somehow it was also my fault.