67. STICK TO THE SORE PLACE
My husband of a few months was complaining of a painful lump on his ball sack. Me being a nurse, I of course rattled off all the things it could (really and not really) be just to freak him out. It was just an ingrown hair, but it seems that’s a pretty painful spot for you dudes, so he was being a pansy about letting me treat the area.
So, I started joking around about STDs and how his balls were going to fall off. He got really quiet and didn’t think that was very funny. We had not slept together in several months, I was 7 months pregnant with naturally conceived twins and relations were incredibly painful and unadvised by our specialist.
Well, I suggested he take a warm compress on the area and see if that helped the discomfort. While he’s in the bathroom, he gets a bunch of texts from a girl that say: “No, we have been tested in the last few months, no STDs.
Can’t be from me.” I got the whole body shut down, room closing in on me, tunnel vision, enough strength to get into bed and just lay there. My husband of four months (we’d been together for several years and had a 2-year-old son too) was screwing another woman.
He could definitely tell something was wrong when he saw me. The only thing I could say was, “Who’s so-and-so and why are you talking to her about STDs,” and that’s when it all fell apart.
I had no one to confide in for support, my family was providing us with so much, a house, money, everything to take care of these twins, and this man was just hot-to-trot so he went and got some.
I couldn’t and still haven’t told my parents. I told my best friend and confided in my brother (because he cheated on his wife and I wanted the man’s perspective).
Some might not agree with it, but we are still together today. We have learned communication is so important, even if it’s a note or text or something. We need to know each other’s needs and be honest about how we feel.
The dynamic of our marriage will never be what I wanted it to be. I didn’t wear a ring for a long time. I don’t trust him still when it comes to relationships with female friends.
And I still have not taken his name after 3 years. As of right now, we need to be married to provide for our children. We are happy, our children our happy.
We don’t fight and we have fun, love, and affection. But it’s always there and it always will be. When our 3 sons decide to marry, he will tell them what he did and how much it jeopardized what is supposed to be a union between two people.
Because our marriage is a marriage of two people who work together to raise a family, but we are a happy, healthy, and loving family.