Tragic Tales From Behind The Tech Support Desk

Can You Meet Me Halfway?

Tech Support Tales
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I do user training and support for a web application that was developed by my firm. Our clients skew older.

Client: I can’t get into my account. My login isn’t working. This is ridiculous. I’ve been trying for hours and now I’m locked out.

Me: My apologies for the inconvenience! I’ve just reset your password. You should receive an email with a link to set and save a new password in a moment.

Client: I don’t want to set a new password. I liked my old password. It’s the same password I use for everything else and it’s easy to remember.

Me: My sincere apologies, but you will need to set a new password in order to gain access to your account.

Client: Can’t I just use my old password?

Me: No, our data security standards do not allow that. However, if for any reason you aren’t able to follow the password reset link, I would be happy to generate a random password for you, and share it with you over the phone.

Client: Do that, then, and email the password to me.

Me: Again, my apologies, but part of our security policy states that we cannot email passwords in plain text. I would be happy to give you a call and share your password with you over the phone.

Client: Why are you being so difficult? I just want my old password to work again.

Me: Sir, I’m so sorry that this process has been frustrating for you. I want you to have access to your account. Have you followed the link in the password reset email?

Client: No. It looks like a virus. I don’t want to click on it.

Me: I can assure you that it is not a virus. It is a hyperlink. You can just click on it, and it’ll open a page in your browser where you can reset your password.

Client: That’s ridiculous. That’s so much work. Why do you make it so hard? This should be simple. I want to speak to your manager.

Me: (eager to pass them off on someone else) No problem. My manager is CC’ed. He would be happy to assist you.

Manager: (this then goes to email) How can I help?

Client: Your employee is rude, stupid, and not helpful. I just want to log in, I don’t want to reset my password, I don’t want to click on this virus she sent me, and this is taking forever and it is ridiculous.

Manager: Sir, respectfully, we are going to need you to meet us halfway and change your password.

Client: (in all caps) THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I DON’T WANT TO CHANGE MY PASSWORD. YOU ARE IDIOTS.

Manager: Again, we are sorry that this is frustrating for you. Please let us know what we can do to help.

Manager then CC’s the client’s boss, the director of their organization, and the one whose signature is on the contract. My manager does not take any trash from clients.

Client’s boss (to their employee with us CC’ed): Are you serious? These nice people are doing everything they can to help you, and you are belittling them. This is an embarrassment to our organization. You owe them both an apology, and you need to reset your password, stop complaining, and log in so you can get me that report that was supposed to be on my desk yesterday. The fact that you’ve wasted your entire day on this is ridiculous and this will definitely be included in your performance review.

My manager and I were in tears. The client’s boss was savage and did not pull a single punch. The client did end up resetting his password, but did not apologize. Last time I sent out an email to clients, though, his bounced. He got fired. I cackled.

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