Late Night Problems
It’s 11:30 pm and I get a call through from my least favorite business we support at my out-of-hours desk. We have no systems access and very little in the way of documentation, plus their calls are renowned for being a pain in the butt to deal with.
Me: Service desk how can I help?
Customer: Oh hello I’m not able to print
Me: Okay, any error messages? Any signs of life from the printer?
Customer: Now hold on I’m not a computer person so you’ll need to use simple terms
Me: What happens when you print?
Customer: Nothing happens that’s why I’m calling you!
Me: Do you see any messages appear on the screen when trying to print?
Customer: No
I have a particularly low tolerance for these kinds of callers who are unable to provide even basic details. This guy was also coming across as very condescending.
Me: Is your printer turned on? Can you see any lights?
Customer: Of course!
Me: Can you walk me through what you generally do to print something?
Customer: I’m not a computer person so you’ll need to be more clear
Me: Tell me how you’d usually print
Customer: Look here, I don’t really understand what you’re asking me
Me: What would you usually do to print?
Customer: I don’t understand you
Me: Ok sir, I’d like to connect remotely to your computer so I can see what’s on the screen. Is that okay?
Customer: This is all very complicated. I’m not sure what you want to do
Me: I’d like to access your computer so I can see what’s wrong
Customer: I’m sorry, can you explain that more clearly?
Me: I’m not sure how much clearer I can actually be with this. I need to remotely connect to try and fix this for you
Customer: Look this is terribly unfriendly for people who aren’t technically savvy like myself. Why can’t you fix this?
Me: I’m trying to help you and fix it, but you haven’t been able to provide a great amount of detail on the issue, so I’d like to remotely connect a take a look myself
Customer: I’m not familiar with these technical terms. This is very hard. I don’t understand why we have you people if you can’t help people who aren’t technically savvy
Me: I’m trying to help, however as it’s out of hours our scope is limited. I need to remotely connect to see what’s going on. I respect that you are not technically savvy but at the same time we do expect a certain level of existing knowledge from users in order to be able to provide our support service after hours. I can ask that the main service desk calls you back in the morning if you’d prefer?
Customer: No look this is very important and I need this fixed, how do you get on my screen?
Me: Firstly, I need you to open a web browser or just go to Google
Customer: I JUST USE THIS FOR EMAIL WHAT ON EARTH IS A WEB BROWSER?
Me: Do you use Google?
Customer: Yes of course I do!
Me: Okay, please go to Google….
Me: Thank you I’m now connected. I’m going to take a look at the printer setup now
Me: I see the printer is reporting “not connected”. Can you check to make sure it’s plugged in please?
I Google the model number and this is an OLD Epson printer. USB only. At this point I’ve had enough of this caller’s ineptness.
Customer: But I don’t know HOW!
Me: I’m sorry, I really can’t help you with this part. You’re the one physically located with the computer and the printer. Go to the printer and make sure any wires coming from it are plugged into the PC.
Customer: OK.
Several minutes later I hear the unmistakable sound of a device being connected in Windows
Me: Okay, the printer is now showing as connected so it looks like the plug was disconnected. Please try printing again.
He navigates to Outlook, opens an email about discounted camping products, and proceeds to print it off.
Me: I can hear the printer in the background, so it looks like we’re good now?
Customer: Yes it’s working but you didn’t help me at all click
But joke was on him. He left the remote connection open accidentally, so I spent the next half an hour inconspicuously moving his mouse each time he tried to click something before I got bored and disconnected.