Egg-cellent
In senior year of high school, I brought a bag lunch to school every other day. In this bag lunch was always a single, solitary hard-boiled egg.
A friend of mine, being an outstanding gentleman, would always offer to crack the egg for me… And then proceeded to use the head or shoulder of whoever was closest to him as a hard surface. Everyone made a game of it: he had to be sneaky, or enlist others to distract his target.
All in all it was good-natured, immature fun. We probably would have gotten bored and stopped after a week or two. But then I had The Idea. The Beautiful, Perfect Idea.
I started tossing him the egg. I changed things up, slowly tossing it harder and further, till it was more a game of how hard and far we could throw it without it cracking.
For 6 months, I trained him like my perfect little egg catching monkey. He could and would catch an egg in his sleep. He had become genuinely PROUD of his ability to field hard-boiled eggs. And, on the final day of school, I arrived on campus with a single, solitary, uncooked egg.
For half a year I had imagined my friend’s face as he crushed that egg in his bare fist like a tiny little soda can. I will never know a joy as great as the good ten seconds he stood there, egg seeping out of his hand, utterly and completely confused as to what had just happened. Story credit: Reddit / light_mnemonic