I Refused to Sign the Marriage Certificate
I refused to sign the marriage certificate and complete the process. My ex, I’ll call her Karen, was on multiple psych meds for her issues and was really cool at first.
But she stopped taking them cold turkey a few months after we officially started dating. The main issue that caused our issues was her crippling body dysmorphia and her psychopathy.
It started as her asking me to avoid movies with intimate scenes because it upset her. I agreed…then it was anything racy…then it was anything with women at all…then it was animated women.
She came into a room when I was playing Fallout 3 and knocked my TV to the ground because she found out I was playing a female character.
Another time, I was driving and she saw a girl in a bikini top and covered my eyes as I was passing through an intersection.
She clawed me in the neck (I still have scars there) because I told her I wasn’t going to break my DVDs in half to prove I loved her, since they had women in them and I should want to break them.
I wasn’t allowed to leave the house alone because I might see a girl and cheat on her. I went to Wal-Mart alone once and ended up having to apologize loudly and beg her to unlock the front door so I could get inside.
Incident after incident. Why did I stay? I had horrible parents growing up, so I think that I was already programmed to just deal with it.
So, she decided we should get married and I reluctantly agreed. The day came, and we did the ceremony.
After that, I had my first moment of clarity. I refused to sign the marriage certificate to make it official until she started getting counseling. She refused.
She said that all a counselor would do was tell her she needed to work on herself, but she wasn’t the problem, everyone else was. She continued grinding at me and my sanity.
I lost my job and for eight months I sat at home, playing World of Warcraft all day, eating delivery, and getting unemployment because she didn’t want me at a job because I might meet a girl and cheat on her, but of course, she wouldn’t work.
I ended up at a new job and it was horrible when she “discovered” that other girls worked there with me. I stood strong for keeping the job, at least. But then I made a chilling discovery.
I found out she was cheating on me. She would hide her phone from me, never let me see it, panic if I was near it. She left it at home by accident and I read her texts.
I blamed myself, I talked to her, everything was going to get better because she was the one who did something so bad. I was so naive. Then I caught her again…with the same guy.
I logged into her Facebook, only to see her bashing me with the guy. She was incredibly hateful with me all the time, accusing me of looking at other girls, accusing me of trying to cheat.
Telling me over and over how she was never going to cheat, and then making fun of me with the dude she was sleeping with. That’s when I suddenly grew a spine. Everything clicked for me.
I opened a new bank account that she could never find. I left a couple hundred in our joint account to keep it open. After a month and a half, I had a lot saved up.
I waited until she went out with her “friend” for the day and I went and got an apartment and just quietly moved on her. She got home and totally flipped out.
She screamed and threatened and cried and tried to guilt me, but I was done. I was free. And then it took one final, dark turn. Fast forward two years and counseling for myself.
I met a wonderful woman, and I wanted to marry her. The day I was going to propose, guess who sends me an e-mail? Karen.
She, in her weirdly childish way of communicating, lets me know that she wants a divorce so she can marry the next sucker she roped in. I was like “Yeah, we weren’t married, remember?
“I didn’t sign anything.” She said that I may not have, but we were married all the same. What? That’s when the whole story came out. See, Karen had a friend. I’ll call him Brian.
Brian and I looked very similar, like we could be related. Brian was in love with Karen and would do anything she asked.
A week after I said I wasn’t signing anything, my wallet disappeared for a couple of days. I was somewhat absent-minded, so I assumed I misplaced it.
It turned up and I forgot about losing it. What Karen did was take it and have Brian pose as me at the courthouse. Yep, he forged my signature using my information. We were married this whole time.
I called a lawyer and asked what I could do, but there was nothing that could be done because there was no proof that it had happened.
Yeah, she admitted it, but she could also just say she was messing with me and deny the whole thing later on. I had no recourse.
I was already ready to marry my new fiancee, but Karen, after three years, wanted to try and reconcile as friends. I said no. During this time, her new dude found out about it and bailed on her.
So I was stuck with her dragging her feet for almost a year, making threats and demands. I finally invited her out to lunch to catch up…. Instead, I dragged her butt into a legal assistance place.
She was a coward at heart and didn’t know how to deal with my being forceful, so she was cowed into signing all the documents and agreeing to having them submitted on her behalf by the assistant.
Two weeks later, we were divorced. And she still has the gall to blame me for everything.
Oh, and right after the divorce was final, she demanded a baby from me to keep as a memory, saying I could sign over all parental rights and never have to be part of its life. I passed.
From what I’ve heard, she is still unemployed, still lives with her mother, and goes through boyfriends like crazy because they are all smarter than I was and drop her once the shiny of her wears off.
I’m happily married to the same woman I wanted to propose to. We’ve got a loving relationship and are going on 8 years without any strife.
We have two beautiful daughters and I get to be a stay-at-home dad for them. thematgreen