Keep It To Yourself
This was many years ago, like 17 years or so. I was finally meeting up with my crush—but what she said broke my heart. She revealed that she had slept with someone thirty minutes prior to meeting up with me, for one.
Not just that, the guy had a girlfriend already and she knew the girl. She slept with him because he kept insisting that he would get with her, and kept talking about how good he supposedly was in bed.
That was not how I pictured my night going, but at least I got a little chuckle out of it when she called him a one-pump chump. Story Credit: Reddit/GingerBeardicus86