Hands Off, Lady!
This story is about my husband, as he used to deliver pizza when we lived in Florida. So, one night, the pizzeria got a delivery order for a pizza with mayonnaise on the side. Weird, but okay. And it was to be delivered to a hotel room. Fine. So, he gets there, and the woman asked for him to put it on the table in the room while she got her money.
Not the first time that happened, so whatever. As soon as he put it down, the woman literally GRABBED MY HUSBAND! She started telling him how she was getting old, and she was so alone and how she just wanted a man for…you know. He turned his head just as she went in to kiss him. Instead of on the lips, she got his eye. Startled, she backed up by one step, which was enough for my husband to get away from her.
He ran to his truck, didn’t even bother buckling up, and sped back to the pizzeria. He was only out of the store less than 10 minutes. He got back and told everyone what happened, including me, since I was a waitress there. For YEARS the running joke was that she didn’t want mayonnaise, she wanted “Man-aize.” He said if ANYONE ever ordered that again, he refused to take it.
Obviously, every time I ordered a pizza for delivery, I asked for mayonnaise on the side…
Story credit: Reddit / gfurbush