That’s Nuts
I got out of a bad relationship a few months ago and only recently felt good enough to get out of the house again. This was my first-ever boyfriend and he turned out to be a piece of trash, so I was obviously a bit hesitant. But some old friends from high school were visiting my town and asked if I wanted to go on a bar crawl with them and I figured screw it, it’s not like anything will happen, so why not?
At the first bar, we run into a group of guys from my university. I had seen some of them around but never spoke to them before. One of my friends decides she’s going to force me to “get out of my shell” and drags our group over to talk with them. I’m EXTREMELY quiet (like…weirdly quiet to most people) so I end up sitting in the corner of our booth and not saying anything, just drinking and feeling awkward.
Well, one of the guys in the other group, let’s call him Adam, is also being weirdly quiet. So my friends and his friends, who are already tipsy, decide to make things as awkward as possible by making us play truth or dare—except we have to drink when we don’t want to answer something. There are a lot of personal questions neither of us want to answer, so we end up drinking quite a bit.
By the time we’re done the first bar, Adam and I are on a whole different plane of existence from everyone else. It actually turned out that we had a lot in common, and he was pretty cute, and we’re goofing around and laughing the whole time. I started to get butterflies in my stomach, and not just from the drinks. Adam has my exact sense of humor and is really sweet and kind.
We wander off and start having deep conversations about feeling left out of things and how annoying it is when people say stuff like, “Can they speak?” I tell him I’m walking home and he offers to walk with me. I know where this is going but I don’t feel nervous, plus I feel like I have a genuine connection with this guy. Our friends are wolf-whistling as we leave and instead of being embarrassed, I feel weirdly proud.
So we get to my place, talk for a bit, and do the deed. I wake up earlier than him and decide I’m going to make a nice breakfast. I want to impress him and show him I like him, and everyone likes a good breakfast when they have a hangover, right? So I sneak out of bed and make scrambled eggs, French toast, and sausage. I prefer almond milk so I use that for the eggs and French toast.
He wakes up and tells me I look just as cute sober. At this point, I’m convinced he’s the love of my life. He sees the breakfast and gets excited and I’m like yes! My plan worked! I’m going to get to his heart through his stomach! We eat and everything’s going great for a few bites. Then he makes a weird face and clears his throat. His eyes start to widen and he asks me if there were nuts in the bread or something.
I say no, but I used almond milk. He jumps out of his chair and says, “CALL AN AMBULANCE RIGHT. NOW.” I’m freaking the heck out. He’s wheezing and stuff and looks absolutely panicked. I ask if he has an EpiPen and he shakes his head no. So I call an ambulance and tell them he’s having an allergic reaction and paramedics come and haul him off.
This happened last weekend. I have not heard back from him since. I found his buddy and confirmed he is OK. I guess accidentally triggering a severe allergic reaction does not lead to romance.