Make Yourself At Home
My friend Jenna moved into a nice, new condo last month and I finally got a chance to check it out for the first time today. I ended up arriving before she got home from work so she told me to let myself in with the spare key under the potted plant and to make myself comfortable. I made myself a sandwich and was meandering around eating and checking out her swanky new place when the front door opened and a really large and unfamiliar man with a duffel bag came in.
This dude was intimidating and I’m a 4’11” woman, so I was immediately scared. He looked shocked to see me. I’m looking at his duffel bag and realizing that I surprised some piece of trash burglar! I panicked and threw my sandwich at his face and then locked myself in the bedroom. I’m shaking and he pounds on the door yelling at me to get the heck out.
I start screaming at HIM to get the heck out and that I’m calling the authorities (total bluff because I didn’t have my phone). His response made me stop in my tracks. He then yells back that HE is calling the authorities on ME. This gives me pause. At this point, I look around and realize the bedroom I’m in definitely appears to be of the male persuasion.
I ask him through the door if he knows Jenna (last name). He tells me yes, she is his next-door neighbor. WELL. Apparently, Jenna’s neighbor ALSO keeps a spare key under a potted plant. So, today I messed up by letting myself into my friend’s neighbor’s place, smacking him in the face with his own sandwich, and then screaming at him to get the heck out of his house.