The Funniest Things Shaquille O’Neal Has Ever Said

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“But can’t nobody f— with me. I’m like toilet paper, Pampers, and toothpaste. I’m definitely proven to be effective.” Another classic from his first Heat press conference. He wasn’t wrong: In his first season in Miami, when he turned 33, Shaq averaged 22.9 points, 10.4 rebounds, and 2.3 blocks per game to go with a league-leading field-goal percentage.

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